I was surprised that Kay could come clean to my aunt but not to me. And the fact that he begged her to keep the truth from me is what is surprising me more. How could he expect that someone related to me would choose him over me? I thought that after nine years together I knew him well, but I was wrong. After all these years, Kay has shown a different side of himself that I never even knew existed.
All of this started when he started getting close to a particular young woman. In all our years together, he had never paid attention to any other woman besides me. That’s why I found it suspicious when this new woman came into the picture. I asked my boyfriend, “What’s going on between you and this person you are always attached to?” He frowned, “What are you accusing me of?” I calmly explained that I was not accusing him of anything. I just wanted to know the nature of their relationship. “What else can I have with her besides friendship?”
I saw that he didn’t like the questions I was asking him so I left him alone. However, I wasn’t willing to let the matter rest easily. So I took the lady’s number from his phone and called her. “You might not know me, but I know about you. I am Kay’s girlfriend,” I introduced myself. I didn’t bother with fake pleasantries. I told her point blank, “Kay and I have been together for over eight years now. We will get be getting married soon. I am letting you know so that he doesn’t lie to you that he is single.” I said all these in a calm manner. I thought this woman would thank me for giving her the information but I was wrong.
She flared up, “Do you think I care about your relationship with Kay? What did you get out of all the years you’ve spent with him? Has he married you? Have you given him a child? Leave me alone.” I was shocked. That day she insulted me miserably. I argued with her for a while but eventually, I gave up and left her alone. After talking to the woman I decided to leave Kay for her. I told him, “This relationship was perfect when it was just the two of us. Now you’ve introduced a third wheel, and she has messed with the harmony we used to enjoy. I can’t be involved with this chaos. It’s over.”
He didn’t accept the breakup. He came to see me with some elderly people and they helped him apologize to me. It was the first time something like that had happened so I gave him a second chance. We started making preparations for marriage as soon as we got back together. Things were going smoothly until I lost my job. I didn’t want to get married while I was still unemployed so we had to put our marriage plans on hold.
I still don’t have a job so Kay has been helping me out. And honestly, he is doing an incredible job. He takes very good care of me. He is always attentive to me as well. All I have to do is cough. He would show up, “Babe, are you okay? What can I do to make things better for you?” Because of his behavior, I was completely sure that the other woman was gone from our lives. So I couldn’t believe it when I found out that the woman has a child, and Kay is the father. I remember calling the person who gave me the information a liar. “Kay? My own Kay? You must be wrong. I have been with him for nine years. I know him inside out. He can’t hide a child from me.” The gossip who gave me the information encouraged me to find out the truth for myself.
The first time I asked him about his child he laughed, “What kind of joke is this?” The second time he shrugged, “What are you talking about?” That’s what he does whenever I ask him. He would either tell me to stop joking or he would say, “I don’t know what you are talking about,” and end the conversation. I didn’t want to call the other lady and get insulted again, so I told one of my aunts to get the truth out of him for me.
Could you believe that Kay confessed everything to my aunt? After his confession, he begged my aunt to keep it a secret from me. He told her he didn’t want to lose me. I don’t believe that’s a good enough reason to keep something this huge from me. It is as if he wants to eat his cake and have it. Although I am deeply hurt by his betrayal I have not said anything to him. I act as if I don’t know the truth and he acts as if he is not hiding anything from me. We are all lying to each other.
What I don’t like about all this is that I am carrying his child. I am still in my first trimester so the pregnancy hasn’t gotten far yet. I sit and think about how I have wasted nine years of my life being loyal to a cheat, and all I want to do is hurt him back. How do I approach this? What is the best way to make him pay for his deception? I am also wondering if I should ask him to do a DNA test on the child before I take any decision. Please advise me, I am in pain.
–YBC
