I met this guy at the school we both teach at in February this year. We were both new to the school so we hit it off the moment we met. I spoke to him about almost everything I experienced at our new workplace. He also shared his experiences with me. We became very close, and everyone who knew us knew that we were good friends. If we weren’t working, we were often seen in each other’s company. Even the kids we were teaching knew about our friendship.
I trusted him to the extent that when my ex broke my heart, his shoulder was the one I cried on. He gave me comfort and stood by me through my difficult time. It got to a point, people even started whispering about us. “What kind of friendship is that? Maybe there is something more going on between them.” I heard these rumours but I wasn’t bothered. Why should I be? I didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. As far as I was concerned, we will never be anything more than friends. And I honestly, believed that he shared the same sentiments.
However, somewhere last month we were chatting on WhatsApp one evening when he jokingly texted; “Lowkey, I have caught feelings for you.” I laughed and replied, “Dude, go and sleep. The weather is making you say things. I am sure by morning you will realize how crazy you sound.” But he kept saying, “No, this has nothing to do with the weather. I know what I am talking about, and I mean it. I have fallen in love with you.” He even called me and repeated what he said via text. That was when all the laughter faded from my voice and I realized that he was serious. I told him, “This is not something we should discuss on the phone. Why don’t you tell me how you feel the next time we see each other?”
Before this whole conversation started, this guy had already informed me that he was single. He said his last relationship ended five years ago, and that he was taking his time to meet the right person. So, my reluctance to get involved with him had nothing to do with my thoughts that he might have a girlfriend. There wasn’t even anything to indicate that he did, considering the amount of time we spent talking on the phone. I just didn’t like him in that way, and besides, I was still healing from my past relationship. But he was also very relentless in his pursuit of me. I kept telling him, “We work at the same place so I think it will be weird if we date.” In response, he said, “No one has to know that we are dating unless we want them to.”
After a month of going back and forth, I decided to accept his proposal and see how things will work out. And it was after we started dating that I started falling in love with him. As we already discussed, we kept our relationship hidden from our work colleagues. Even when the evidence was staring them right in the face, we denied it and said we were just friends.
It was all fun and happiness until last Sunday he invited me out on a date. It was our first official date as a couple, and I was very happy about it. We were having a nice time until he said he had something to tell me. “Okay, go ahead,” I urged him. He said, “The thing is, I have a girlfriend living outside the country. We’ve been together for two years now, and I love her very much.” “If you have a girlfriend you love then what are you doing with me?” I retorted. He calmly responded, “I am with you because I love you too.” I told him, “It’s not possible to love two people.” But he said, “I know how I feel, and I know that it’s love. Now, the thing is I want to marry both of you. What do you say?”
I told him I’m too young to be a first wife or a second one for that matter. Then I removed myself from the equation so that he would continue his relationship with her. I am very hurt by what he did, and anytime I see him at work I ask him, “Why did you propose to me knowing very well that you had someone?” The only explanation he gives me is, “I love you, and I thought we could make it work. I am sorry that my actions hurt you instead.” I have given him space as a result of how things went down. I don’t have it in me to pretend for the sake of keeping appearances. The kids I teach have noticed that something is different about us, and they’ve been asking questions. Whenever they bring him up, I get hurt all over again.
I really like him so I am wondering if I made the right decision by letting him go. Maybe I should have kept him, seeing as the other woman is out of town and it doesn’t look like she’s coming back anytime soon. Please, tell me I made the right choice, even though it hurts.
—Miss Anne
