My love life is like a pilgrimage. I have journeyed through women who promised me love and forever but ended up giving me life lessons. I call them moments of life lessons because everything that happened brought me to this moment. And I believe it’s time I share my story with you. So buckle up, as we go on this roller coaster ride.
In the beginning, I met Genevieve. She was a shy, beautiful, young woman who had hopes of pursuing a career in nursing. By then, I had just finished writing my licensure exams for my nursing career. So she looked up to me for guidance. Thus began our friendship. Although she was young, she had a broad perspective on life and the world at large. We used to stay up late having deep conversations about everything including our dreams and aspirations. A while into our friendship I had to leave Ho, the town I schooled in, and return home to Tema. It was when the distance came between us that I realized I had fallen in love with her. It’s not my style to swallow my feelings, so I told her how I felt.
“I have feelings for you too,” she admitted, “But I am not sure we should do anything about it. You live all the way in Tema, while I’m here in Ho. What if you meet someone there and forget about me?” “That’s not going to happen. I love you, and I mean it.” Upon further assurances, she agreed to be my girlfriend. Considering the fact that it was a long-distance relationship, I would say we were doing well. But then I lost my aunt after a few months, and that was when things took a nosedive. It started when I met a girl at my aunt’s funeral. Now, don’t get ahead of me and jump to conclusions. Nothing happened between us. She helped me to charge my phone and we became friends, that’s all. Some days after my aunt’s funeral Genevieve told me, “When you were in the village for your aunt’s funeral, a lady called me on your phone. She didn’t say anything significant, but who is she?” I didn’t know what she meant seeing as I didn’t give my phone to anyone to call her. It was later that I realized that it could be Eli, the girl who helped me charge my phone. So I asked Eli if she used my phone to make any calls, and she said no. But she said, “You have some powerful lovey-dovey messages on that phone though.” When I asked if she read my messages, she laughed. Well, that made me realize she was lying. She must have called Genevieve.
After my conversation with Eli, I took a nap and woke up to a long text message from Genevieve. She asked me not to contact her anymore, and that we were done. I thought she was joking. So I called her, but she didn’t answer. I sent her messages but she never responded to any of them. I did everything possible to get her attention but nothing worked. I was confused. I didn’t know what I did. All she said was that she was disappointed in me. So I called Eli, “Did you call Genevieve again? Did you tell her something that made her leave me?” She was outraged, “I don’t know what you are talking about. Why? What did she say I did?” She sounded so sincere that I believed her. It was hard to accept that Genevieve didn’t want me again but there was nothing I could do. I just had to move on. While I tried to move on, Eli was there for me. She offered me a listening ear and gave me comforting words. And before I realized it, I had fallen in love with her. She agreed to date me but my parents were against it. They said they didn’t mind us being friends, but they didn’t approve of us getting romantically involved. I was in love so I didn’t mind them. I went ahead and dated Eli but we kept the relationship under wraps. But somehow my parents found out about us. They got upset and warned me to stay away from her. Eli’s mother also got angry with my parents’ disapproval and said a lot of derogatory things about my family. I realized then that the relationship wouldn’t work out because of the bad blood between our families. So I ended things with Eli and moved on with my life.
Shortly after that, I got posted to one of the hospitals in the northern part of the Volta region. In my second year there I met Jo. She is the last baby of her family and happens to be her parents’ only daughter as well. So you can imagine how protective they were of her. We were in the relationship for about two and a half years when I decided to take it to the next level. I spoke to her father about my intentions and he said, “Hold on for now. She was in nursing school but we found out the school wasn’t accredited so we pulled her out. Right now, the plan is for her to go back to school. So you will have to be patient until she completes school.” Although I didn’t agree with the man’s terms, I accepted it. I didn’t agree with him because I felt I could marry Jo and she would still go to school. I was, after all, the one providing for her upkeep. Her parents were alive and working but they left her for me to take care of. By and by, she gained admission to one of the technical universities to study fashion design. This was when the problems started. Fashion involves buying stuff for practicals. And her parents expected me to cover the majority of the cost. At that point, I said no. If they could ask me to wait before marrying her, then they should fund her education themselves.
I decided to invest my resources in myself. I furthered my education. And due to my busy schedule, I didn’t get time for her like I used to. So she started accusing me of cheating on her. She even paid me a surprise visit on two occasions but she didn’t find what she was looking for. I told her I wasn’t pleased with her allegations and that she should put an end to it, but she didn’t. Then her phone got spoilt and she expected me to get her a new one but I couldn’t, because I had a lot of bills to pay. She wasn’t happy about it. She made it look like she was my responsibility. This really bothered me. “Don’t do that. This relationship is not about only you. It’s about me too, my needs also matter.” I told her. Her response was, “Well, if you feel the relationship is not working then leave.” So I did. And that was the end of us. After all that time I called Genevieve. I was so happy when she picked up. We talked and I asked her why she left me without any explanation. But she didn’t give me an answer. She just said we should leave the past in the past. That day we spoke at length about our lives and the progress we’ve made in achieving our goals. After that conversation, I called her again but it didn’t go through. I called several times after that but it still didn’t go through. I was sad but again, I had to let her go. In my last year in school, I decided to stay away from relationships or anything to do with love.However, I met one lady in church. We were just friends and I wanted to keep it that way. But I saw that she had feelings for me. I told myself, “I am not ready for another relationship. I don’t want to rush into anything. I will take my time and make it right once and for all so that my next relationship will end in marriage.” After giving myself all this pep talk, I still went ahead and fell in love with her. I guess I am just a hopeless romantic. I believed she was my last chance at love so I gave her my all. And I thought she gave me her all too. But then she started being secretive. I had access to her phone but she changed her password. She also kept a lot of male friends. When I complained she told me, “They are just my friends. Stop being possessive.” I believe I did my best for the relationship to work, but it only kept getting more difficult. So things ended.
On my birthday in 2017, a friend of mine celebrated me on Facebook. Through that, a lady sent me a birthday message. I got curious and went to check her profile. Guess who it was? Genevieve! We started chatting again from there. One of the first things she asked me was, “How many kids do you have now?” I laughed, because I realized she wanted to ask me if I was married or still single. Soon, we moved the conversation from Facebook to WhatsApp, and then we started talking via phone calls again. This time, she sounded more mature. The years we were separated changed her for the better. It was not difficult for me to fall back in love with her. I proposed to her again. And she asked me if I wasn’t seeing anybody. I replied, “No, I am not. But I’m also not in a hurry. Take your time and come to a decision. I want us to take it slowly this time. I want to get to know you all over again.”There was just something that felt right about her that I never felt with all the others. I also prayed fervently about her, and God told me she was the one. So the day she accepted my proposal, I told her we should start preparations for marriage. It took us two years from the time we reconnected to get ourselves ready for marriage. After we got married, she told me why she left me the first time. Apparently, Eli had called to tell her lies about me. Lies that made her feel I didn’t love or respect her. She apologized for listening to her instead of giving me the chance to prove myself. But I told her, “It doesn’t matter anymore. That’s all in the past. What is important is that we are here together. Besides, I had to go through all the painful experiences to be the man I am now. So it’s all good.” I started my journey with Genevieve and ended up right back with her. Isn’t that how pilgrimages are? I believe whatever was meant for us is what we are seeing today. She is an amazing lady and a lovely wife to me. I lost her once but I found her again, and for that I am thankful.
