He lost his job shortly after we started dating in 2020. He had the potential to do well for himself so I believed he would get back on his feet soon. While I was trusting and hoping that things would be well for him, my boyfriend took to gambling. I didn’t know about it until he came to me one day with his hands on his head. “What’s wrong?” I asked him, “Why do you look like you have lost everything in this world?” With a defeated sigh he said, “You are not far from the truth. I lost an important bet, and if I don’t pay the money back, my debtors will make sure that I lose everything I hold dear in this world.” I was surprised, “You lost an important bet? I didn’t even know you are into gambling.” “The details are not important right now. All that matters is that I need GHC5000 to settle the debt.”
I don’t know how he expected me to cough up that amount of money for him. I have a job but I don’t earn much, and he knows that. So the fact that he was asking me to help him raise the money just showed his level of desperation. I wanted to help him get out of the trouble he was in so I asked him, “How long will it take you to pay back the money if I manage to secure a loan for you?” He promised, “Oh not long at all. I’m expecting some money in a few days’ time so when I get it I will pay you back.” I told him I didn’t have the money but I would get loans from my friends for him. “If you don’t pay it back on time, it will reflect badly on me so please don’t disappoint me,” I warned him before giving him GHC3000.
When the time was due for him to pay the money he brought me GHC1000 and said, “The money I was expecting was delayed so this is what I could get. I promise I’ll bring back the balance in no time.” I knew he didn’t have a job so I was patient with him. I was convinced that if he got a job, he would pay everything back. Then he got a job. The salary wasn’t much but I still expected him to pay the money in instalments. However, he never did. When I asked him why, he said, “I am owing student loans so they’ve been deducting it from my salary. By the time I receive what is left, there’s barely enough to sustain me. But I’m working on something, and I’m sure that it will work out. So don’t worry, I’ll pay back everything as soon as I can.”
My friends whose money I had taken hounded me for their money as I gave them excuses upon excuses. While all this was going on, Steve would call me asking for money to buy food or airtime, and I would give it to him. Sometimes he would beg me to pay his utility bills for him and I would do it. I just wanted to be the woman who stood by her man and helped him get back on his feet. But there was never a day that I needed him and he showed up for me. All of this should have been enough to help me see the kind of person he is but no, I insisted on seeing the good in him. The good I saw in him led to me having to repay my friends the loan so that they would stop putting pressure on me. I didn’t tell Steve I had paid the money, in hopes that he would finally pay it back and I would get to keep it.
After all this, he came to me again asking for money. He had gotten a better-paying job but he had to do medicals in order for him to be given his employment contract. The cost was GHC500, but he didn’t have it. I was sceptical about giving him the money but I asked myself, “Why not? If he gets the job he will pay everything he owes me.” So I gave him the money and he got the job. The month ended, but he didn’t attempt to make any payments, not even the money I gave him for the medicals. After about two or three months he came asking for another money, GHC200. It took three months before I got it back from him.
Now my problem is, two weeks ago, he asked me to lend him some money for a business. I reminded him, “What about all the monies you are owing me? How do you expect me to keep giving you money if you don’t pay back the previous ones you took?” He pleaded, “This one is for a business. I will give it to you tomorrow, trust me.” Maybe it was love or the fact that I am too empathetic to turn him away. Because I gave him the benefit of the doubt and sent him the money. Truly, he paid it back the next day. I was impressed and thought he had changed. So when he came back a week later asking for another loan for the same business opportunity, I gave it to him, no questions asked. This time around, he didn’t pay it back the next day. I didn’t even hear back from him the entire day until it was 9:00 PM. He gave me excuses; “I lost the money and the products from the business I invested in, I am sorry.”
That was the last time I heard his voice. Now I am texting him, but he is not replying. I call him, and he doesn’t pick up. He sent me a message recently saying that he is doing damage control and that he will get back to me. I have not heard from him again. I have gotten the message that he is avoiding me so I decided to leave him alone. I even texted him that our relationship is over but he hasn’t replied yet and it’s been a week already. A part of me wants to let him take the money as long as he is out of my life. But another part of me believes that what he did to me is unfair, so I should threaten him to pay my money back. While I was committedly pouring my love into him, he was taking me for a fool. I am confused as to what to do. Should I let it go or should I make him pay up?
–Afeafa
