When finding a husband, some Nigerian women pray to meet the right man and mother-in-law.
To a certain extent, a marriage’s peacefulness or success is determined by the type of mother-in-law a lady has. For example, a lady with a free-spirited and loving mother-in-law may have little or no clashes. On the other hand, a lady with a perfectionist and mean mother-in-law is in for a long dramatic run.
If there is one thing Nollywood movies have taught us, especially films starring the iconic Patience Ozokwor, it is that gaining the love and respect of a mother-in-law is difficult. However, with the tips in this article, you might as well get friendship bracelets because you and your mother-in-law will be inseparable like bread and butter.
Be yourself
Some ladies make the big mistake of putting up a different character from their true selves to please their mother-in-law. But this is counterproductive. Don’t try to prove that you are domesticated or that you always like wearing modest outfits when you are not. Have a conversation with your man before meeting his mum. Ask him what her preferences are and, of course, any other thing you need to know ahead of your meeting. Of course, you need not be aloof in her home, but at the same time, don’t be what you are not because you will have to keep with that narrative for as long as you are married to her son. You must embrace her, accept and integrate into their culture but don’t fake it because you would be tagged a pretender.
This way, she would love you for who you are and not the smokescreen you are putting up.
Regular Communication
An excellent way to make your mother-in-law love you is to communicate frequently. Don’t just limit your communication to when you meet at parties or once a month, talk virtually.
Be consistent at checking up on her once or twice a week or at least regularly.
Additionally, ensure to send writeup, memes and pictures you think she would find interesting.
It creates room for better understanding and eliminates any awkward tension you both might have when meeting physically.
Buy her occasional giftsIt’s common for a mother to feel like you are not good enough for her son. So, they start to criticise everything about you, especially your appearance.
Save yourself from this criticism by winning her heart through material things. Find out what your mother-in-law likes or needs, and once in a while, get it for her.
Now, it doesn’t have to be expensive gifts, something as cheap as an apple or her favourite fruits would show her that you care.
Seek her opinionsIt can work like a charm. Mothers-in-law don’t like when they feel like they don’t have a say in what goes on in their daughter-in-law’s life. So, what better way to win her love than to make her believe she has a voice?
From your first meeting, don’t think of her as your husband’s mother but as your biological mother. Whenever you have troubling issues, don’t hesitate to walk up to her, call her and seek advice.
It not only gives her a positive impression of you but also ensures she plays a significant role in your life.
Show her your bargaining skillsNigerian mothers and bargaining are like many Nigerian politicians and corruption; inseparable.
Don’t hold back on your bargaining skills each time you have an opportunity to go to the market with your mother-in-law.
Suppose a seller calls good for #100, price it to #5. This is sure to put a smile on your mother-in-law’s face and earn you her respect.
Become her gossip buddyThe best way to do this is to identify someone she doesn’t like and join her whenever she is talking ill about the person.
And if she doesn’t have any “haters,” ensure you have the juiciest gossip about events or people.
While this seems terrible on so many levels, it gives you the chance to talk and build a bond of friendship.
