Dearest brother – Kwasi,
Sad to see you go, Kwasi, (Chancellor of the Exchequer) but it is these type of decisions that makes corporate governance a good subject. As a leader, when your decision(s) and judgement-calls fail your position, as a leader, becomes untenable. You must resign or be fired. Perhaps, this explains why we have developed countries and developing countries although civilisation started with the latter.
Let me praise you for achieving such great success in your relatively short Political Career. I did not dream that a fully blooded Ghanaian will occupy such prestigious office for even one hour. You got the job; and for six solid weeks you were Chancellor. Traditionally, you had the keys to and were occupying number 11 Downing Street as the Vice President and Finance Minister of Great Britain. I am profoundly grateful to God and proud of you for putting Ghana and Ejisu on the map.
Now that you have been fired, I bet, people like your pigment, Kwasi, including the envious and jealous ones as well as those mob in the labour party who, hitherto called you coconut, coke ice and a sell out, are all going to milk your story – pretentiously empathising with your abrupt exit. You trust them at your own peril…
You bet, they will say, you have been thrown under the proverbial bus because you are black. And, to be sacked in [our] black history month, and yourself – an avid historian -, you must be conscious that you are going to be our monthly subject. – In short, this is Black [Kwasi Kwarteng] History Month.
Kwasi, I am sorry to state the obvious; politics is a day to day job. Your post is very very temporal. The only exception, I dare argue, is for Political Office holders in Africa and, closer home, Ghana and precisely since 2017.
In Ghana, politicians are fired (examples: Otiko Djaba, Sarah Adwoa Safo or Boakye Agyarko)- if you are not prepared to play ball. The rest are all doing fine; no matter the scandal, you are safe inside! Your added buffer would be to create a nice niche of social media army of boys and girls who you have palm 500 Ghana Cedis every month. And if you decide to insulate yourself against prison for any Political and Economic Crime, you must take care of your local Paramount Chief. If you are wise enough to do that then you have your freedom to do whatever you want for a lifetime.
In fact, in Ghana we have a Health Minister who should be standing trial by now and, if found guilty, – imprisoned for using Covid-19 to dupe poor Ghanaians, your cousins, with Sputnik V contract as well as a sordid contract with Frontiers Services, a company that was awarded a contract before being registered, which no one knows who signed the contract document. The whole Parliament could not even unravel such mystery
As for galamsey (illegal small-scale mining) and fraudulent tax evasion deals, even Members of Council of State business are fingered. Chairmen and officers of political parties in connivance ministers and CEOs are busy digging our Reserved Forest for gold. So please come with some jumpers and more waterproof jackets and shoes because, even Kyebi, which has not seen flood since my childhood is flooded.
Kwasi, by the way, you must ship water ahead of your trip via a door-to-door service (my friend, Laud Brown and his wife Catherine Brown own a superb logistic company and their rates are exceptional with dutiful customer service). Please, the water shipment is essential because our water bodies cannot be distinguished from your favourite soup, nkatekwan.
Well, Kwasi, I am certain you will survive. Believe me, your cousins have survived under double salaried ministers and MPs; some have done better with that. One won an election to become Speaker of Parliament or shall I say, number three gentlemen of the Republic.
You will survive, Kwasi, because back home, a whole forest reserved, near to your hometown, was being laundered to the brother of the former President until power changed hands and, if you care to know, that brother did not pay a single import duty for 6 years while his brother was president. And, when power changed hands, he could issue dud cheques and no one could complain. I don’t even know how that ended, I just gave up because the new government started on a scandalous note; and like London buses, they came thick and fast in a sea of red, all at once.
By the way, that brotherman want to come back as president because the current government have done many many bad things that makes him look like a saint. Kwasi, you won’t believe that this saint is a character that awarded 3 million dollars contract for a bus to be painted when the total cost was actually thirty thousand dollars. You see, I told you you will survive, didn’t I?
Kwasi, I guess Ghana is the right place for you. Please come and join your younger brother Kweku Adeboli and start up an investment firm. Who knows, one day, your firm will run Ghana’s economy. Then you can take your share of the National cake, after all you are Ejisu dehye kronkron.
Look at your fellow Ejisu brother, yes, the one beside you, I guess he told you two days ago that he has been surviving?
Like him, just bring with you a bible and a white material for us to make you similar clothes. You speak soft already so are hitting the right notes.
Even our Vice President, Dr. Bawumia, who professed solutions to our economic woes and has failed miserably, when the opportunity came for him to do his magic, is in boisterous mood campaigning to be flagbearer and voted for as president because he comes from a minority tribe.
Those who are vouching for him, mainly a carbal of unaccountable young kleptocrats with their old dodgy carbal hanging on to power beyond their sell by date in government.
The word on the street is that they have found a perfect Muslim Youthful 59 year old who they can manipulate – to continue their looting spree – so he is best person to lead. In Ghana, we like slogans so when I say DMB, you must respond Best To Lead You will be surprised to note that the carbal include pastors, seers, and Chiefs.
So now, you catch the drift? No? Oh, Kwasi, don’t be alarmed; I will explain. In Ghana, when you are prepared to pay, everyone will see the goodness in you. You will never be a bad man, and will never step a foot wrong so long as you are prepared to compromise your principles.
So now, we all are cowed to support him regardless of his abysmal performance. And, guess what, we don’t want to be tagged as a tribalistic party and be voted out of office, so it doesn’t matter if there is a better candidate, it is DMB all the way…!
Kwasi, what I am try to say is that, it is just a little bit like Rushi and Liz contest but the odds, on this one, is more on tribe than competence. You see, I said you will survive!
Kwasi, please extend my greetings to your beutiful wife, Harriet, and the little one, Liberty Frances. Undoubtedly, Harriet will be livid. She will say, they were out to get you and they did just that. Well, Harriet is a great lawyer but, in politics, when you are fired you can’t bring a claim for constructive dismissal.
Kwasi, just lick your wounds and quell back to the green bench at the back. You may get an opportunity to bounce back, who knows; that is, if you decide to stick with the British High Standards of politics.
Kwasi, the Rt Honourable Jeremy Hunt is taking over as new Chancellor. Dr. Hunt, you may recall, was hunted and ousted by his colleagues, General Practice Doctors (GPs), when he decided to fight them on a principled subject of GP appointment and waiting times.
In fact, people say this was largely the reason he didn’t clinch the top job as Prime Minister. Wow, he is back and I guarantee, from Liz’s letter to you, it won’t be that long for you to return to government if you decline the tantalising offer of “Home-Sweet-Home”.
As for mummy Boitey, she is a women made of steel. I am sure she has lived long enough to tell you this is normal for the the Tory party. Whenever there is a bubble, the Tory Party want to move on quickly; as the lyrical late Michael Jackson would posit, whilst moonwalking, and in his sleek voice “it doesn’t matter, if you are black or white”, you will be sacrificed in the Supreme Interest of the Party.
Kwasi, I am returning from Ghana enrout via Amsterdam and I just got the news while sipping English Brakefast Tea .
Let’s catch up soon
Yours truly, Sekyere (Aduana and Asene) brother,
Kojo Owusu of Agona Asante
In other developments on Friday: