Six years ago when I met her, I said in my head, “This is the woman I’ve been waiting for. The woman who makes me understand why it didn’t work out with anyone.” I’d known her for only three months but I knew everything about her. She was like an open book that also flipped easily. Every chapter of her life was revealed to me in every conversation that we had. All that aside, she was naughty too. I never had a girl call me and say, “Hey, take off your boxers, I’m on my way coming” but she did. I never had a woman who went out with me and paid for it but she did. Even when we sat in a trotro, she paid before I could dip my hand into my pocket.
“She’s the one and I’m going to do everything to keep her with me here forever, I told myself”
So when guys started coming closer, I fought them off. I remember one night, she came to my place and had a call. She didn’t pick up the call. I saw it and I was thinking, “Who could that be that she wouldn’t talk to him in my presence?” The number called again and she gave me the phone. She said, “I’ve told him to leave me alone but he wouldn’t. Say exactly the same thing to him in a manly manner and let’s see what he’ll do.” I took the phone and answered the call and the guy shivered. He was like, “I’m looking for the phone’s owner.” I answered, “This phone has two owners. You’re talking to the real owner.” He was confused, his sudden silence showed. I said, “She doesn’t want you to disturb her again. She’s already taken. Accept that and give your heart a rest, unless you want me to get violent with you.”
He cut the call and my girlfriend laughed. She said, “Now I can rest in peace.” I said to myself, “Now I can rest in this love.”
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A year after that incident, I was in her house with my family presenting a drink so we could get the list. We got the list in May, we got married in September, and in December, she was pregnant. When she got pregnant, she stopped being the woman I fell in love with. As early as three months gone, she stopped having shuperu with me. Anytime I got closer, she pushed me away. She said the thought of shuperu gave her a migraine. She was always sleeping and wouldn’t stand on her feet to even cook for us. When she returned from work, she wouldn’t even bathe. She would coil under the sheet and start sleeping. Her night started at 6 pm and she will wake up at dawn to order me around.
Everything was bearable. I could climb the moon and pluck it for her or even fight a lion and get its tail for her but one thing that disturbed my balance was her denial of sex. I couldn’t stand it. I spoke to her in a way every mating creature would speak to their mating mate but this woman said no. “Don’t you know I’m already in distress? Does my condition not scare you? I’m tired. I wish you could carry what I’m carrying for a day so you know how it feels like to have someone grow in you.” Sometimes she will break down and cry as if I’d beaten her. I stopped asking and she stopped giving. She acted defensive until she gave birth.
Before she gave birth I’d already started flirting with a lady I met on Facebook. For some reason unknown to me, this lady didn’t want to chat on any app apart from Facebook messenger. I didn’t have a problem with it so every day I would be on messenger lying about my love for her and how I couldn’t eat because I didn’t hear from her. She knew I was married and was still very receptive to me. The only barrier we had was our location. She lives in a different town, four hours drive from where I am. She wanted to come around when my wife was pregnant but I stopped her. it was only me and my wife in the house so there was no better excuse I could use to leave her alone in the house. But when my wife gave birth, her mother came around and provided a conducive environment for me to travel. READ ALSO: It Looks Like I’m Cursed, I Only Attract Old Men
I woke up one Friday morning and told her I would be travelling. “It’s a work trip. If we are able to finish what we are going to do there early, we’ll return. If not, we’ll come early tomorrow morning.” She even advised me not to rush my return journey, “If it’s late, sleep and come back tomorrow.” I left home happily and set off on the journey to meet this girl. Four-hour drive later, I met this girl and she told me she was in her menses. I was like, “Ah! What sort of ɛyi is that? So why did you make me come? Why didn’t you tell me so we reschedule?” She said she wasn’t sure and that it came a couple of hours ago. My whole mood was affected. The girl started feeling bad and I saw it. She asked me, “So you mean you came because of shuperu and not because of me? Be happy for seeing me, this thing would go away and I’ll still be here.”
She didn’t know what she was saying. I hadn’t done it for several months and I was desperate. Apart from the absence of shuperu, we had a good time together and I left the following morning with the promise to return when she was no longer leaking. I got back home and met a different wife. Her mood wasn’t right, she looked at me with her head bowed. She gave me straightforward answers and even started to avoid me. I was like, “Why is this woman angry? Was she not the same person who advised me to sleep over When it’s late?” Her mother was around so we couldn’t say anything to each other. I played with my baby while she was far from us. In the night when we were about to sleep she said, “Tomorrow after church, I’ll leave with my mother. She has to be home for some issues and I can’t be here alone so I’m leaving with her. “
What she was saying didn’t sound right. Her mother would have told me herself if there was anything of that sort. I spoke to her mother and she also said the same thing. The whole house was too quiet for my liking. Even the baby didn’t cry all night. It was like a house of secrets, you see a face and you know that there’s something that person isn’t saying. They said after church but they left in the morning without going to church. I was the only one who went to church that day. I was expecting her to call me when they got home but she didn’t so I called her. I asked her, “Is everything alright?” She answered, “No. Everything is wrong. I read your messages on your laptop. You were texting while on your way. I read everything. You have a new wife, congratulations. I’m leaving you so she can come over without any restrictions.”
My heart started beating faster. I said, “But we could have talked about it. Why did you have to leave before telling me this?” She answered, “As I said, you need some space to fit in another woman. I don’t want to make things difficult for you. Have fun.” And then she cut the call. I called back and she cut the call. I called back again and she had blocked my line. I called her mom and asked her to give the phone to my wife. I heard her telling her, “Tell him I’m busy.” READ ALSO: How stars showed up for Black Panther II: Wakanda Forever World Premiere
First thing in the morning, I dressed up and took a car to their place. Her father saw me and was happy to see me. It felt like he didn’t know what was happening. My wife’s mother saw me and asked, “What is happening between you two? Are you fighting? Her father asked, “Because he’s here this early?” They both didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t want to put up a show to give away anything. I said “She left something and I’m bringing it. My wife shouted, “Liar! If you’re a man tell them the truth. Tell them you have another woman. Tell them you left us and travelled to her. Tell them.”
Her father asked me calmly, “is it true?” I answered, “Yes but nothing happened.” He got up and left me there. My wife wasn’t ready to see me so I was left sitting there like a toy. The issue dragged on for a week. I had no option but to bring my parents into the matter. Families have met and discussions have been made. All my wife said was she needed time to think about it.
Her maternity leave is almost over and I’ve heard from mutual friends that my wife is looking for a place to rent. I’ve sworn to her that nothing happened. I even gave the girl’s number to her to call and find out. I’ve told her that I’m ready to swear before any deity of her choice that indeed, nothing happened but this woman walks around as if she doesn’t hear me when I talk. Now that she’s looking for a new place to rent, I feel like my world has come to an end. The fact that I have to share my story here shows how desperate I am. I’m a private person. I keep my problems to myself but this one has floored me. What else should I do to convince her that nothing happened? And what else should I do to prove that it won’t happen again? Please help.
—Kwame Ato
