I gained employment in a private company in 2019. I worked there for a year and met a guy through a friend in the same company. He expressed interest in me but I didn’t know him well enough so I asked my friend about him. I told her, “Yaw said he likes me. What do you know about him? Does he have a girlfriend hiding somewhere already? Is he a good guy?” My friend, Akos, told me; “Yes, Yaw is a good guy. I know him very well. So give him a chance if you like him.” I trusted Akos. Which means I went ahead to give Yaw a chance. As most relationships begin, things were good. I was happy. I thought I had met “the one.”
A while into the relationship, a friend who was close to Akos disclosed something to me. She said, “I am not supposed to tell you this because Akos told me in confidence. Nevertheless, it doesn’t seem right to hide it from you. Akos said she has been seeing Yaw.” I was confused, “I don’t understand what you mean. What has she been seeing my boyfriend do that she can’t tell me about it?” Our friend looked grim as she said; “That’s not what I mean. She said she is also dating him. The two of you are sharing him.” I shook my head, “It doesn’t make sense. Did they start before I came into the picture or they started after I did? Why would she give me the green light to be with a man she was already dating?” I had so many questions but my friend didn’t have any answers for me.
I was pained and angry. I didn’t understand why Akos would be comfortable sharing a man with me, but I wasn’t. I asked Yaw why he made a move on me when he was seeing my friend. And he apologized and said their relationship was over. “Please don’t leave me because of this. I promise to cut all ties with her.” I wasn’t ready to lose him yet so I listened to his apology and gave him another chance. Not long after that incident, he moved in with me. One thing I never understood was how we did everything together, yet I was the only one paying the bills and buying foodstuff for our home.
When I discussed with him to take responsibility for some of our expenses, he only paid for a month. When I asked him to pay the next month, he complained bitterly and didn’t pay. Although he was behaving in that manner, we still talked about marriage. We talked about the future and everything but his actions were questionable. He made no attempt to introduce me to his family. When I brought it up, he dragged his feet. With all that going on, I started having dreams about him. I’m the dreams, I was in need and he didn’t help me. He rather used the money to help another lady. The dream kept recurring so I spoke to my spiritual mother about it. She told me, “This guy is not going to provide for you when you marry him.” I consulted four other spiritual people, and they said the same thing.
I told Yaw about my dreams and proposed that we end the relationship but he refused to accept it. He then started talking about introducing me to his family, but I was no longer interested in a future with him so I refused. I asked him to move out of my apartment but he refused to do that as well. I had to get people to intervene and force him to move out. When he left, our relationship became an on-and-off affair. I would break up with him and he would come back with apologies and I would take him back, only to remember why we broke up in the first place. We did that for a year, until I finally told him, “I can’t keep living my life like this. I’m done for good.”
This led to him telling people that he was single, while he followed me everywhere and wouldn’t leave my side. One day he asked to see me, so I went to his place with my cousin. After that visit, I realized he had gotten close to my cousin. She would go to his place to visit him and then tell me about it. We were broken up so I felt it wasn’t my place to say anything about their closeness. One day I was there when my cousin texted me asking about my relationship with Yaw. I told her we dated but we broke up. After that conversation with my cousin, Yaw came to visit me. He said he had nothing to do with my cousin and that I am the one he wants. He pleaded with me to give him another chance because he couldn’t live without me. He talked a lot and even pretended to cry.
I was confused when I looked at him. Because I knew he had slept with my cousin. She told me everything, but he thought I didn’t know the truth. That day I watched him spew out one lie after the other. When he finished, I sent him off without giving him any chance to come back into my life. One day, I went to work and found him engrossed in a deep conversation with my cousin. As soon as they saw me, my cousin said, “Yaw, Sandra knows about what happened between us. I told her everything.” I pretended as if I didn’t hear her say my name and proceeded to get myself ready for work.
This guy had the guts to go to my spiritual mother that same day my cousin told him I knew everything that had happened between them. He told my spiritual mother that he wants to marry me so she should help him with prayers. This made me very angry. And when he came to me later, I let him experience my anger. Fast forward, my friend, Akos, accused me of seducing Yaw and snatching him from her. He said my cousin also seduced Yaw, as though Yaw was not to be blamed for anything. This same Yaw told my cousin he wants to marry her, and then told me he wants to marry me by January if my spiritual mother gives him her approval. How can you sleep with my cousin, lie to me about it, and turn around and say we should get married? Who does that?
Yaw is on this platform. He is one of the main people who give others relationship advice here. That’s why I am sharing our story here. I just want to tell him that chasing women and playing games won’t lead him anywhere. He should grow up and stop behaving like a boy. Not everyone can be fooled.
—Sandy
