Many times we talk about ‘red flags’, however, not all signs are immediate red flags. Relationships, or dating, require understanding certain behaviours to know if you are compatible with your partner. Some of these behaviours, let us call them ‘pink flags’, we sometimes ignore but they can build into actual red flags that could affect the relationship in a negative way.
Some of these could be toxic behaviours or traits that you tend to think will change along the way, or you think to yourself that you are overreacting or that they won’t happen again, but eventually they could become a deal breaker.
According to Tracy Ross, a U.S-based clinical psychologist and therapist, while you can stand these signs for some time, pay more attention when they happen more frequently. Address them early on before they become something else.
Below are five ‘pink flags’ that could lead to a breakdown in your relationship if they are not addressed early on:
Limited affection
Experts say a potential pink flag might include a difference in how you express affection and want to receive it. For example, if you are someone who really enjoys physical touch like holding hands, kissing, and embracing often, and your partner does not, this might be okay for you in the beginning or something you can put up with in a long-term relationship like marriage.
However, experts say that once that becomes a norm and you forget about the physical touch as long as you are happy, at some point your intimacy or affection needs remain unmet. Affection and intimacy are key in a relationship. Once they are missing, your partner might find them somewhere else.
Hiding things from each other
Today it is possible for people to date or even get married without fully sharing each other’s past, mainly to avoid fights or arguments. However, experts say not sharing about one’s past, especially things your partner might need to know, could be a major pink flag.
It is natural to want to know all about your partner’s life and experiences, and learning this takes time. But if you feel like they’re intentionally keeping information from you, it is high time you asked a few questions.
Do not wait to learn things from elsewhere and get disappointed. Talk about it and get it out of the way. It is even worse when they continue hiding things from you even when you are in a long-term relationship.
Unreliable, not consistent
We all want to rely on someone we love for whatever we need at any given time. Whether it is that help when you are stuck, a financial bailout, emotional presence or even just being available when you need them.
When you are not able to rely on them for anything, it is a pink flag you need to be wary of. If they love you, they must be present and reliable.
Lack of consistency and being unreliable could be a sign that they are cheating, unhappy, or uninterested in you. If they are defensive and impatient with you from the start, be sure that this will turn into a red flag soon or later.
Technology is a big distraction
This is a pink flag many of us have had to put up with in this digital era. We let people be on their smartphones or computers even during that time we are supposed to be together. It is their right. No?
Well, experts say that if your partner or spouse is overly distracted by technology in your presence, take issue. If he or she is constantly distracted, checking their phone or computer, or even watching television, especially during conversation or even sex, this could lead to a bigger issue if not discussed early on. Tackle it head-on from the beginning.
A history of betrayal
They say fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. It is true that you might find yourself in a relationship with a person who has a history of cheating, lying or betrayal.
Many times they will say they’ve changed and beg you to give them a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance, otherwise divorcees wouldn’t find someone to love them again.
However, it happens that sometimes the same people you give a second chance to are the same people who betray you. Always remember you are not any special from the people they betrayed before.
Beware, if the trend continues, don’t persist all in the name of giving them a second chance. Address your concerns now and later you will not regret. There is a thin line between pink and red flags.
