I met George when I was in SHS. He wasn’t a student like I was but we were friends throughout my period in school. He was working with his dad then. I knew he liked me because of the way he went the extra mile to help me whenever he could. He didn’t tell me anything about how he felt until I got to my final year in school. That was when he told me, “Maame, I have loved you for some time now. And I feel it’s time we move our relationship beyond friendship. We should start a love relationship and study each other for marriage.”
I was also in love with him but I turned down his proposal. I explained to him, “I love you too, George, but I don’t want to enter a relationship till I complete my secondary school education. Can you wait for me?” He understood me and we maintained our friendship. My friends didn’t believe we weren’t dating. They said we were too close for people who were just friends, “Maame if this is just friendship, then if you guys start dating you would be glued together.” Whenever they made this statement l would just laugh and wouldn’t respond. READ: Lil Wayne’s Ex Toya Johnson unleashes wedding pics after marrying fiance Robert Rushing
Sadly, George and I lost contact after my SHS education. I tried all means to contact him but to no avail. He was in Accra, while I was in Kumasi. I didn’t know his house, and neither had I been to Accra my entire life. I felt the emptiness that accompanied his loss for a while but eventually, I dusted myself and moved on. In my second semester at the university, I started dating someone named Peter. Things with him were going on smoothly until he started demanding shuperu two months into the relationship. I was surprised. Because, before I accepted his proposal, we both agreed to keep ourselves chaste for marriage.
One day he complained of being sick with malaria so I went to visit him. It wasn’t the first time I had gone to his place. But that day his behavior was strange. The moment I entered his room he locked his door, something he had never done before. So I asked, “Why did you lock your door?” He responded, “Oh it’s nothing. I just don’t want my friends to know that I am home, if not they will come and worry me.” His explanation didn’t make sense to me so I asked him further, “If you are sick then your friends have to visit you. So why don’t you want them to?” He told me he just wanted to be alone, so I joked; “If you want to be alone then I am leaving.”
I asked if he had eaten and he said yes. I then asked if he had taken his medications, and he said yes to that too. Then I prayed for him, and he even teased me that I was Sofo Maame (Lady Pastor). We were laughing and talking happily until I noticed that he was acting funny. All of a sudden, he hugged me and proceeded to kiss me. That had never happened before. So I moved back and asked him, “What was that for?” “Oh, it’s nothing. I am just showing you how much I missed you,” he said. Before I could respond, he grabbed my breasts. And I slapped his hands off, and marched to the door, only to realize that he had taken out the key.
I asked him to either give me the keys or unlock the door for me, but he didn’t. He only moved closer to me and kissed me forcefully. I tried to break the kiss but he held me roughly. I struggled and freed myself. I even slapped him. I think that angered him, and he forced himself on me that day. It was raining when he finally let me go. And I passed through the rain with pain, tears, and a whole lot going through my mind. I couldn’t tell anyone what he did because who would believe that my boyfriend took me against my will?
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After the incident, I found out from his friend that he only dated me because he made a bet with his gang that he would be the one to lay me. His friend said, “Peter went about boasting that he has been able to deflower the girl everyone thought was unbreakable.” I felt broken and utterly helpless. I could only cry and tell him that I leave him in God’s hands.
Now my problem is, George came back into my life. We have been dating for a year, and I love him so much. Because I was a virgin when he first met me, he thinks that I am still one. Knowing the kind of person he is, if I tell him the truth he might leave me. Sometimes when we are talking about our future he tells me, “Maame, I can’t wait to deflower you on our wedding night, and make you mine.” Whenever he says that my heart bleeds. How will I tell him the truth without losing him? Just recently he even said, “How can I marry someone who has done the thing already? I will always feel someway when I remember that someone has made love to my wife before I did.” READ : Rwanda’s parliament rejects bill on contraceptives for 15-year olds
His obsession with my virginity is becoming a burden to me. I love him, and he loves me. He has everything I need in a man but how can I tell him about what happened with Peter? Will he even believe that I was forced? Or maybe I should play along and fake it on our wedding night if we get married hopefully? I am not sure what to do at this point.
—Maame
